The

 Torn One

Your response to this breakup is a confusing mix of anger, hurt and desperately missing them.

Read more

What this means

In this relationship, and particularly in response to the breakup, you've found yourself pulled between very different emotions.

One moment you're angry about what happened. The next you miss them desperately. You may want to reach out for comfort, then want nothing to do with them. At times you might feel overwhelmed by emotion, and at others shut down completely.

It can leave you wondering, What is wrong with me? Why do my feelings keep changing so dramatically?

But these conflicting feelings don't mean there's something wrong with you.

Your responses suggest that, in this breakup, love and pain have become tangled together. Part of you still reaches for connection, while another part wants to protect you from being hurt again.

No wonder it feels confusing.

How this is affecting your recovery

âś“ Your feelings about them can change dramatically
âś“ You miss them deeply, then feel angry about what happened
âś“ You may reach out for comfort, then regret it or pull away
âś“ You struggle to know which feelings to trust
âś“ The emotional highs and lows can feel consuming

Why healing feels so confusing

You can know you've been hurt and still miss the person who hurt you.

You can know you deserve better and still desperately want everything to be okay again.

Those feelings can exist at the same time.

That's what makes this kind of heartbreak so difficult. The person you're trying to recover from may also be the person you still want to turn to for connection and comfort.

So the answer isn't simply telling yourself to “let go” or trying to work out which feeling is the real one.

You need to understand what happened in this particular relationship, what's driving the push-pull you're experiencing, and what will help you break the cycle.

More details about your result are on their way to your inbox

Your first email should arrive in the next few minutes, with more insight into your result and what it may mean for you.

Over the next few days, I'll send you more to help you understand why you may have responded this way in this relationship, what's keeping you stuck, and what can help you move forward.

Can't see the first email? Check your junk or spam folder and move it to your inbox so you don't miss the rest.

Want more personalised guidance on your breakup?

Knowing the pattern you're showing in response to this breakup is useful.

But it's only part of the story.

Your attachment response can't tell us exactly why this person, this relationship and this ending have created such powerful and conflicting feelings for you.

For that, we need to look at what actually happened between you, the patterns that developed, and what's keeping you emotionally tied to what happened.

Your relationship matters. What happened matters. And the pattern that developed between you matters.

That's why I offer a complimentary Relationship Clarity Session.

Together, we'll look more closely at your relationship and what happened. I can help you make sense of the push-pull you're experiencing, understand what's keeping you stuck, and identify what you need to move forward.

If we both feel I can help you further, we can talk about what that might look like. There's absolutely no obligation to continue working with me.

Either way, you'll leave with greater clarity about why you're feeling so torn, and a clear plan for what to do next.

BOOK YOUR CLARITY SESSION

Meet the mind behind 

Heartbreak Recovery

Rachael J Reed BA (Hons) Psych, BA LLB (Hons)

I'm Rachael Reed, a Heartbreak Recovery Strategist with over 30 years working with women through heartbreak, separation and divorce. I have a background in psychology and family law.

I've also been divorced and heartbroken, so I understand how confusing it can be when your emotions seem to be pulling you in completely different directions. One moment you're angry and know you deserve better. The next you miss them desperately and just want everything to be okay again.

It can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, especially when the person you're hurting over is also the person you still want to turn to for comfort.

But I also know that once you understand what's driving those conflicting feelings, things can start to change.

That's why I offer a small number of women a complimentary 45-minute Relationship Clarity Session.

It's a chance to look at your relationship with someone who understands the psychology behind heartbreak. Together, we'll make sense of what's happened, what's keeping you stuck and identify a clear way forward that's specific to you.

I only make a limited number of these sessions available. If you're ready, choose a time using the calendar below.

Before you book

I only make a small number of these complimentary sessions available, and your 45 minutes will be with me personally and reserved specifically for you.

Please choose a time you know you can attend and come ready to talk openly about your relationship, what happened and what you're struggling with now.

If something unexpected comes up, that's absolutely fine. I simply ask that you cancel or reschedule as soon as you can, so I can offer the time to someone else.

If you're ready, choose your time below.

The single most powerful session I have ever had.
It gave me so much clarity.

— Sue

Tired of the rollercoaster of emotions?

One minute you're angry and certain you need to move forward. The next, you miss them so much you just want everything to be okay again.

It's exhausting being pulled in two different directions.

You don't need to keep fighting with yourself or trying to work out which feeling is the “right” one.

Sometimes, a different perspective can help you make sense of feelings that seem impossible to reconcile.

That's exactly what my Relationship Clarity Session is for. A chance to talk through what happened, understand what's keeping you emotionally tied to this relationship, and start seeing a clearer way forward.

Together, we'll make sense of the conflict you're feeling and work out what you need to do next.

Book your Clarity session

Is This For Me?

If you're hurting after love ended, yes.

It doesn't matter how it ended, how long it lasted, or whether anyone else understands why it hurts this much.

      The Relationship Clarity Session is for you if you're navigating:

~A divorce, whether you saw it coming or it blindsided you

~A separation, even if it isn't "official" yet

~The end of a long-term relationship and the life you built together

~A short relationship that affected you far more deeply than you expected

~Unrequited love and the pain of wanting someone who doesn't want the same relationship

~A situationship that ended without the closure you needed

You don't need to justify why you're still hurting.

If you're stuck trying to understand what happened, why it's still affecting you, or what to do next, this session is for you.

Book your clarity session

Not ready to book a session yet? That's okay.

Introducing

HEARTBREAK RESET

25 practical strategies to help you work through heartbreak

 (A self-paced mini course) 

Some women are ready to talk through what happened. Others want to start feeling better privately, in their own time.

Heartbreak Reset gives you practical, evidence-based strategies you can use when the emotions hit, helping you feel calmer, steadier and more in control.

Some days you feel strong. Other days it all comes crashing back.

One minute you're angry. The next you're sad, missing them, or fighting the urge to reach out.

The emotional swings can be exhausting.

You may not be able to control which feeling shows up, but you can learn how to manage what happens when it does.

A practical way to feel more in control

Heartbreak Reset gives you simple strategies to help you:

âś“ Calm yourself when emotions feel overwhelming
âś“ Manage the urge to reach out or react impulsively
âś“ Handle the triggers that can send you spiralling
âś“ Feel more steady when your emotions pull you in different directions

Short. Practical. Evidence-based.

START MY RESET

The

 Torn One

You're not unstable. You're someone whose nervous system learned that love and pain arrive together.

Read more

What this means

You may swing between wanting them back and never wanting to see them again. Between reaching out and pulling away. Between feeling everything and feeling nothing.

This isn't drama, and it isn't you being unstable. It's what disorganised attachment looks like after loss. Your nervous system learned early that the people meant to feel safe sometimes didn't, so it developed two responses to closeness at once: reach for it, and brace against it.

That push and pull is exhausting, and it makes heartbreak harder to move through alone.

How this is affecting your recovery

  • Emotional highs and lows that feel extreme
  • Impulsive contact followed by regret
  • Shame about your own reactions
  • Feeling internally conflicted about what you actually want

Why healing feels chaotic

Most heartbreak advice assumes you know what you want: move on, or fight for it, cut contact, or get closure. But in my 30 years working in this space, I know that when your system is running two contradictory responses at once; none of that lands cleanly. The chaos isn't a choice. It's a pattern, and patterns need to be understood before they can change.

Your strengths

  • Deep emotional capacity
  • Passionate and intense in the best sense
  • Genuinely insightful about yourself and others
  • Capable of profound growth with the right support

Want more?

I'm offering three completely free 1:1 video calls to work through this with you. No catch, no cost. Pick a time below.

Over the next few days, I'll also send you strategies tailored to your attachment pattern, so keep an eye on your inbox (and check junk mail).

Book a free video call

Meet the mind behind Heartbreak Recovery

Rachael Reed

Heartbreak Recovery Strategist

I'm Rachael Reed, a Heartbreak Recovery Strategist with nearly 30 years working with women through heartbreak, separation, and divorce. I've also lived it myself, so I understand this from both sides of the room.

Right now, I'm offering a small number of women a completely free Personal Deep Dive: three private one on one video calls where we map out exactly what's keeping you stuck and build a clear path forward, tailored entirely to you.

No generic advice. No "just give it time." Just a real conversation about what's actually happening, and what to do next.

I only have a limited number of these spots open. If you're ready, pick a time using the calendar.

Book your free call now

You want connection and you fear it at the same time. That push and pull isn't confusion. It's exactly what disorganised attachment feels like after loss, and it's one of the hardest patterns to move through alone.
Not because you're broken. Because your nervous system is doing two contradictory things at once and nobody has ever shown you how to work with that.

That's what my free Personal Deep Dive is for. Three private one-on-one sessions where we map exactly what's keeping you stuck and build a clear path forward, tailored to you.

I take a small number of these each month alongside my existing client work. Because these spots are free they are genuinely limited.

Book Free Call

"

I couldn't have gotten through my divorce without Rachael. She's been an amazing support, it feels like she's on the journey with you. Navigating a divorce is such a roller coaster, and it's so good to have someone who pulls you up when you need it and encourages you when you feel like you can't push through

"

Ruth

 Is This For Me?

If you're hurting after love ended, yes.
It doesn't matter how it ended, how long it lasted, or whether anyone else thinks you have a right to feel this bad. If heartbreak has you here, this is for you.
Booking a call is for you if you're navigating:
• A divorce, whether you saw it coming or it blindsided you
• A separation, even if it isn't "official" yet
• The end of a long-term relationship, years in, life built together
• A short relationship that still wrecked you (time doesn't decide how much something mattered)
• Unrequited love, wanting someone who never wanted you back the same way
• A situationship that ended without ever having a name, so no one takes your grief seriously
Twenty-two or sixty-two. First heartbreak or fifth. First marriage or third. It doesn't matter how old you are or how many times you've been through this. Heartbreak hurts, full stop, and you don't need to justify why yours counts.
If you're still reading this, it's probably for you. Book the call.

START HEALING
LEARN HOW TO MAKE THAT SICK EMPTY FEELING GO AWAY

HEARTBREAK RESET

Not ready to jump on a call yet? That's okay.

Some women want to talk it through with someone first. Others want to start working through it privately, in their own time. If that's you right now, Heartbreak Reset gives you the same core strategies I use with my private clients, in a self-directed format you can go through whenever suits you.

It won't replace a real conversation, but it will give you somewhere to start.

Begin the work

You know the feeling

That awful, hollow ache in your chest.

The racing thoughts you can't shut off.

The anxiety. The confusion. The constant loop of "What just happened?".

Your world has fallen apart - and yet you're expected to keep going.

Smile. Work. Sleep. Function. 

But everything feels wrong. Inside you are struggling. You can't focus and you can't stop thinking about them!!

You feel sick, exhausted, and emotionally wrecked. 

And if one more person tells you "time heals," you might actually scream. 

START MY RESET